Saturday, July 31

In God's Hands

I had a very good friend in college.  I can honestly say she was my best friend.  She was a year behind me.  I graduated, got a full time job, had a little life drama, and didn't make our friendship a priority.  I basically disappeared and lost contact with my best friend.  I know you are asking, "How can that happen?"

It was all me.  I was a terrible friend.  I was at a point in my life when I thought that things other than friendship were important.  I have learned a lot in the past ten years and have regretted my behavior ever since.

For several years I was too embarrassed to contact her.  After many sleepless nights regretting the disintegration of our friendship, I began to try to locate her but didn't have any luck.

Just today a mutual friend of ours contacted me.  I asked our mutual friend if she still kept in touch with my former best friend.  She does and she gave me her email address.

I quickly typed out an email appologizing to my friend.  Without so much as a third read, I sent it off.  Since it was sent I have thought about a million different things I wanted to say and have thought about how I should have worded it differently, but regardless it now sits in her email inbox.

I have put myself out there and let her know how sorry I am.  I pray that she responds and we can mend our friendship, but it is in God's hands now.

Lord,  I have learned so much in my life about friendship.  It has taken me many years, but I have learned that you have to be a good friend to have a good friend.  Please help me to be the type of friend that I would like others to be to me.

Friday, July 2

Left Behind

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

I have lots to look forward to:  a week of vacation, an upcoming conference on a topic I am very interested in, and spending lots of time with my son and other family.  While I know I am incredibly blessed and I am grateful for all that God has given me, I can't help but be sad. 

A dear friend of mine is moving away in less than a month.  Today was really the last day of work we are going to have together.  We got to know one another through work, but our friendship has gone far beyond a work friendship.  She has been a constant companion of mine.  We have shared so much of our lives with one another both personally and professionally.  There will be a void in my day-to-day life that I know cannot be filled and I am sad.

We will stay in touch with one another, I know, but I will miss getting to see my friend daily.  I will miss being able to just check in and touch base with her throughout the day.  I will miss knowing she is right around the corner.  I will miss hearing about what her family had for dinner or being able to share a silly story about my son.  I know we will still talk, but there is something about being face-to-face that makes it different.

I know God is with me as I go through this minor rough patch and that ultimately He will help me grow as a person through this experience.

I feel as though God is asking me to stretch myself in a way that I haven't been able to in the past to maintain and even deepen the level of friendship that we have even though it will be across the miles.  As I said before, I haven't succeeded in doing this with friends in the past, but with God's help I know that I can this time.

I also feel as though God is asking me to step outside my comfort zone, have an open mind, and form new and different friendships.  New friendships won't replace the friendship I have with my dear friend, but will enhance it.

This move is a great opportunity for my friend and her family and I know that it is a great opportunity for me as well.  I know that every time a door closes, a window opens.  My friend has found her window; I am searching for mine.

Lord, help my friend to know how much I care about her and let her know that won't change even though we will be in different cities.  Help me to be strong for my friend as her life is being turned upside down and she embarks on new and different adventures.  Help me to focus on all the benefits of my friend's move for both her and me.  Guide me in my friendship with her and new friendships that You have waiting for me on the horizon.  Thank You for being near me in my time of sadness and always helping me to find the silver lining.

Thursday, July 1

Missing You

Yesterday when I got home from work my little boy was at my mom's house and came home just in time to go directly into the bed.

Today when I got home from work my little boy's dad was at the house to play.  His dad went home tonight right before it was time for him to go to bed.

I know it may seem ridiculous, but I am used to spending every evening with my son and I am missing him.  We have great one-on-one time each evening and my evenings aren't the same without that.

It occurred to me that God must feel the same when I am not spending time with him on a regular basis.  I imagine him sitting around during my usual prayer time waiting and wondering when I am going to arrive and being disappointed when I don't.

God, thank You for always making time for me regardless if I am making time for you.  Help me to remember that You are always there waiting and are disappointed when I don't make our one-on-one time a priority.  I know that our relationship cannot continue to develop without one-on-one time.  Thank you for the gift of the opportunity of daily time with You.