Monday, December 6

December 6 – Make

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

Not being super crafty, although I wish I was, I am thrilled that I can honestly say that the last thing I made was all of the food for my sister's baby shower.

I hate to cook - well, hate is a bit strong, but I don't like to cook.  I hate to cook under pressure and nothing says pressure like 30 people coming to your house for a party.

I am not sure how good the food was, but overall the shower was a success.  I was thrilled I was able to do it for my sister.

Sunday, December 5

December 5 – Let Go

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

As short and boring as yesterday's entry was, today should make up for that.

I let go of Jon.  Of course, some will say that I did that in 2009 when we got divorced, but anyone who is in a relationship knows it isn't that simple.

Jon and I are still deeply connected with one another and we will always be.  I care very much about him and I want the best for him.

I have tried desperately to be there for him and help him in any way that I thought I could.  I have talked him through things time and time again.  It may have been helpful to him at that moment, but in the long run, it hasn't been helpful for him.  I would guide him out of the bad place he was in only for him to return again and need me to help him out again.  It was exhausting for me and not beneficial in the long term for him.  I was guilty of enabling him in this aspect of his life.

October 2, 2010 was the first time that Jon arrived at that place and I didn't talk him through it.  I made him aware that he was not in a good place, but that is where it stopped.  It wasn't easy.  It would have been easier to go through the same pattern we have been going through for years, but for my sake, for Jon's sake, and for our son's sake, I had to let him go.

I don't know the process he went through.  I don't know how long it took for him to be okay.  I don't know if he is completely okay, but that is a journey only he can take.

I know God is with him, even if he doesn't believe it and my prayers for him continue.  No, life isn't easy.  I wish it were, but it is all part of the journey.

Saturday, December 4

December 4 – Wonder

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

With a one year old, I spent more time cultivating wonder in him than I did myself.  I spent most of the time trying to get from day to day and then through each day, but I tried to provide lots and lots of opportunities for my son.

Not a long answer today, but honest.  Survival was more important to me than cultivating wonder in my life.

Friday, December 3

December 3 - Moment

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (textures, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

I can't say when there was one moment. There was a moment physically. There was a moment mentally. There was a moment emotionally. There was a moment spiritually. Each of these moments held something different for me.

Physically: I started running in 2010. It is something I have always wanted to do. I started the Couch to 5K program in the spring. I worked hard toward my goal of running a 5K on the 4th of July. I wanted to run it the entire time and finish in under 30 minutes. I didn't achieve either goal, but came very close. But this was not the moment. The physical moment I felt most alive was running a race earlier in the spring. It was a race sponsored by Just People, an organization for adults with learning disabilities. There were lots of their clients there. There were a lot of families of clients there. I wasn't always 100% comfortable in the environment, but I knew I was stretching myself in a good way. I enjoyed being in the midst of all the people there - workers, supporters, runners. I enjoyed having my son there with me. The race was the best race that I had run to that point. I ran the best time I had run to that point. I loved the community. I remember running with my son in the jogging stroller and smiling the whole time. I literally ran into a sorority sister of mine that I hadn't seen since college. I won a prize at the raffle that I got to give to a good friend of mine the Monday after the race. It was a wonderful morning.

Mentally: This year I created Mom @ Work (, a network for working mothers. This came out of a passion of mine to create opportunities for working mothers to connect with one another. As a working mother myself I know the opportunities for working mothers to connect are few and far between. Creating Mom @ Work stretched me mentally in so many ways. It was wonderful to be creative and see everything come together. It is still a work in process, but I am loving it.

Emotionally: I began working with Lael Jepsen of SheChanges this year. I found her through a childhood friend's Facebook page and the impact our relationship has had on my life is incredible. Being divorced, it only being my son and me in the house. It can get pretty lonely. Not only is it lonely, but I find myself spending a lot of time thinking about things, but not a lot of time processing things. I know that I need someone else to help me process or I just get stuck in the same thought processes. The processing is what helps me move forward. I cannot rave enough about Lael. I go into each session not knowing exactly what I want or will get out of the session, but after the session I feel invigorated. I feel inspired. Things come together for me and make much more sense. She is in Maine. I am in Atlanta. We spend the time together on the phone. I was a bit hesitant at first, but now I wouldn't do it any other way, even if we did live in the same city.

Spiritually: God is a huge part of my life. I try to spend a lot of time in casual conversation with Him throughout the day. Each day I ask him what His will is for my life. I bring Him problems I am having. I bring Him things to celebrate with me. I thank Him daily. I question Him about things in my life that I don't understand. I love Him. I get frustrated with Him. He is my partner in life. All that being said, is my relationship with Him perfect? Not by any means. I make mistakes. I make wrong decisions. I don't go to Him when I should. I look to other people and things for satisfaction and to achieve the sense of being whole. I have a long way to go to reach perfection, but God is working in my life every day. Those are the moments that I try to be conscious of, not only for myself, but in order to show other people how God is working in my life. So, the moment... I worry a lot about money. A lot. At one point this fall I was concerned about how I was going to pay bills, I got a refund check in the mail that covered the amount of the bills almost to the penny. There is no doubt to me that was a sign from God. I know He is always there, but I appreciate a blatant reminder every once in a while. I needed that reminder right at that moment. He is here in all moments and will guide and protect me. He will take care of me in a way that no one on earth can.

Thursday, December 2

December 2 - Writing

What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
(Author: Leo Babauta)

Interesting question.  When I first read it I thought that I needed to replace writing with something else because I didn’t consider myself a writer.  But, in fact, a writer is exactly what I want to be.  I want to write a devotional.  I want to write an ebook for mothers returning to work after maternity leave.  I want to continue to blog personally and professionally.

So, back to the question…  Here are the things that I do each day that don’t contribute to my writing.  (Emphasis on do because it is asking just that, what I do.  It doesn’t ask what I don’t do, which honestly would be an easier question for me.)

I surf the web. I read.  I piddle in this and that.  At this time, writing is not my full time job.  I would love for one day for that to be the case, but until then, I have to fit in writing around my other responsibilities.  Fitting the writing in is the hard part.

The two things that would contribute to my writing are time and focus.  I need to devote time and space to writing each day.  Maybe it is carving out 30 minutes to write each day even if it doesn't have direction.  Maybe it is committing to writing only a certain number of words each day.  Maybe it is setting up a space where I can spend a bit of time doing nothing but writing each day.

Where will my writing take me in 2011, only time will tell, but I have no doubt that it will be places that, at this point in time, I can't even imagine.

Wednesday, December 1

December 1 - One Word

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

2010 Change

There has been a lot of change for me in 2010:  A divorce, a move, a job shift.  Some has been negative, some has been positive, but all the changes have contributed to the story of my life.

2011 Happiness

Life is pretty darn good, but I want 2011 to be so full of happiness it is busting at the seams with happiness.  Happiness comes with so many other things:  being healthy, content, positive, fun-filled, lots of smiles.  I want all areas of my life to be filled with happiness:  family, friends, hobbies, primary career, secondary careers, motherhood, my son.  Happiness also means being completely comfortable in my own skin, with all of who I am.

Reverb 10

Although I blog several places, I think this is the best place for me to blog for #reverb10.  What is reverb10 all about?  It is about reflecting on 2010 and manifesting what is next.  Go to the web site to find out more.

I do believe that God is in every moment.  He has definitely been with me throughout 2010 and will continue to be with me through every step of 2011.

Join me as I journey through reverb10.