Last night I took my cousins to dinner to celebrate their respective graduations - two different high schools, one college. My son stayed with his grandfather. He stood at the door waving good-bye, super excited about the guys night ahead with Papa. As I pulled out of the driveway and watched him standing with his Papa at the door, I couldn't help but wonder how much he really needs me.
When my son is with his dad or other family members, I always take a back seat so that my son can spend as much time as possible with the people he doesn't get to see all the time. I try not to interfere. Because of this few people even see me active in my role as a mom.
As a single mom, I don't get reassurance from other people that I am doing the right thing as a mom. No one sees what I am doing on a daily basis. No one sees how we interact with one another.
This is where my faith in God is key. Everyday I pray that God helps make me the best mother I can be and I ask Him to let me know that I am doing a good job.
Last night when I got home my son was already in bed. I went to my room to change clothes and when I came out he was out of bed standing in his doorway. As soon as he saw me he opened his arms wide and bounced on his toes without saying a word. I went to him and picked him up. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, squeezed hard and buried his face in my neck whispering, "Mama!"
Yes, he loves me. He needs me.
It is by the grace of God that I am who I am as a mother and I am so thankful that God works through my son to let me know that I am doing a good job.