Sunday, May 1

A Test of Faith

Today has been a hard day.  It has been hard in so many ways that I can't express here.  Today is a day my faith has been tested.

Usually I am a very positive person.  I can always find the silver lining in a situation.

Usually I can get knocked down and I get right back up.  I always look to the future, remembering that this is just one moment and that God's plans are for me than I could ever imagine.

Usually I am steady and stable.  I am the one people come to in times of need.

Today I have been rocked in ways that I never expected and I am not sure what the final outcome of it all will be.

What I really want to do is collapse into someone's arms, cry, and tell them all about it, but I don't have anyone to turn to.

What I really want to do is make snide comments about situations that have occurred, but I know I am better than that.  Being ugly doesn't help the situation but only tears me away from God.

Tonight I am working on holding back the tears and hanging on tight to the following quote from Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning:
The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future.
I am also holding on to the following two blog posts:  The Scenic Route, I wasn't going to blog today, and Get of the Boat, Big.  Both has helped me a ton today.  Thank you, ladies!

There is no doubt that God is in all of this.  I know that tomorrow will be better - things always look better in the morning.  Now it is time to focus on the blessings in my life and hold fast to my faith - He has a plan.

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